I dont know why?

Everything has changed.
and I was trapped by time.
Those feelings bother me everytime.
I can't deny it. Only one chance and I can released from these sufferings.
the more I realize everything has a limit, the more I became ambitious.
I dont know why.
is it because I've been abandoned before? abandoned by....
is it because I've been betrayed before? betrayed by...
I don't know why.
I have passed a lot of grief but this time made me feel sick!
those feelings bother me everytime.
I realize once I fail, I never get a chance anymore. anymore!!!
No more fragile soul. No more tears.
If I could, I can destroy everything, actually.
but once I become a devil, I never be an angel.
I will lost everything. everything.
I just want to show you how to treat me!